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Where are you from?
In the video, Dr. Nadella answers in several different ways. Knowing where he was born only gives part of his story.
What about you? How would you answer that question?
We are a culture that has become more distant from one another, more isolated. The more we are apart, the harder it is to have conversations and build relationships. Today is the first in a 4-part series on building relationships through curiosity, courage, and connection. Today on Pentecost we celebrate the Holy Spirit who gives us connection with God, Jesus, and one another, as well as life, courage, and curiosity.
In our scripture readings today, we see the question ”Where are you from?” asked and answered in a variety of ways.
In Acts, it’s answered geographically. People have come from all over the world to Jerusalem for the festival of Pentecost, more commonly known to those of Jewish faith as Shavuot.[1] On that day in Jerusalem, there were people from Greece and Rome, Egypt and north Africa, Persia and Arabia. The Holy Spirit draws the people together in a sort of holy curiosity, in the way that crowds attract people, and noise attracts people.
On Pentecost, it was the sound of the Holy Spirit like a rushing wind that caught people’s attention. Then they saw the Spirit descending like tongues of fire, and heard the disciples speaking in so many different languages. We know people can be loud. Crowds at football games can be deafening. This was probably loud too.
Speaking in different languages may have been the Holy Spirit calling out to all those people, sort of like the birds before dawn, singing their dawn chorus. (Illustration from the children’s book The Dawn Chorus by Suzanne Barton). The dawn chorus can be quite loud, especially in the spring. The birds are calling out to each other for a variety of reasons – attracting a mate, defending their territory, or gathering their flock.[3] They do it instinctively. Birds of a feather flock together, as they say. We too are drawn to connect with people. That’s why social media is so popular. It gives us a way to connect that’s in many ways safer and easier than in-person contact. Some people think online connections like twitter are for the birds, but they are a way of calling out to each other and staying in touch.
People can be noisy like birds. One of my seminary professors told us to pay attention to the circling birds. A circling bird is a problem or concern that keeps coming up because it’s not being addressed or feels like it’s not being heard. Sometimes that happens because the problem is not easily resolved and so it’s easier to ignore it, especially if we don’t know what to do about it. Not all problems are solvable, but we can still listen and acknowledge them.
In our reading from John, the Holy Spirit sparks curiosity among John the Baptist’s disciples about who Jesus is. Their version of “where are you from” is “where are you staying?” (John 1:38)
We should note that though the disciples are curious about Jesus, they don’t start asking him questions until Jesus invites them to by saying, “What do you want?” They are respectful. They call Jesus “rabbi” because that is how he seems to them. Jesus responds with words we ourselves could use more often. “Come and see.”
When Jesus invites them to “come and see,” he is inviting them into a deeper understanding of who he is. As they spend time with Jesus, they will unlearn some of their initial assumptions about him. This happens with us, too. I first preached here six years ago on the Sunday after Easter, a day that’s sometimes called Holy Humor Sunday. If I remember correctly, I brought a giant squirt gun that day. That was the day I met some of you for the first time. What did you assume about me back then that has changed as we have gotten to know each other? I think I was probably afraid of some of you, and the more we’ve gotten to know each other, the more I have learned that you aren’t so scary after all. 😊
Curiosity is contagious.[5] Andrew, one of the men who had been following John the Baptist, is now following Jesus, and invites his brother Simon to come along. Phillip joins them the following day, and Phillip invites Nathaniel to join them. Before even meeting Jesus, Nathaniel is already jumping to conclusions. When Phillip says Jesus is from Nazareth, Nate says “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” (John 1:46) Phillip responds in the same way that Jesus did the day before. “Come and see for yourself.” Dr. Nadella points out the subtext in this: “Don’t arrive at premature conclusions about anyone, or otherize them based on insufficient knowledge.”[6]
To otherize someone is to emphasize the ways they are different in a way that alienates them. Asking “where are you from” can be a question that otherizes if we’re not careful. Maybe it wouldn’t be the first thing you say to someone you’ve just met. Also the tone of voice we use can convey whether we’re asking in a loving and friendly way or a scornful or alienating way.
To cultivate a deeper curiosity that grants a fuller understanding of others, especially those who look, dress, and think differently requires investment of sufficient time and resources to learn about them. We need to make a commitment to unlearning prior assumptions when needed, and in our curiosity we need to engage others while still respecting their space.[7]
Our reading from Genesis today answers the question “where are you from?” by reminding us that we all have a common origin, each of us created by God from the dust of the earth. We quote from Genesis 3:19 at burial services when we say, “From dust we are made, and to dust we will return.”
The Holy Spirit is in the breath of life that God breathes into the first living creatures, and into each one of us. “…the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.” (Genesis 2:7)
I wonder how Adam would answer the question, “Where are you from?” From dust? From the land of the beautiful fruit trees? From the place that the four rivers begin?
Notice that the land provides sustenance for Adam – food and water and the very dust from which he is made – and Adam takes care of the land. It’s a mutual relationship, one in which we all share. Our relationship with the land works better the more we take the time to learn about it, and it’s the same with our relationships with people.
Deeper learning and understanding takes time and patience. These deeper connections can be healing as love pours into our cracks and scars that have come from past relationships, and especially past relationships that influenced our understanding of who we are. People come to church seeking to know God’s love, so when they encounter instead legalism and shame, that leaves very deep scars.
That’s why we need to allow time together to know whether it’s safe to share our stories without encountering shame or scorn. In church groups, we feel unsuccessful if we don’t have a significant number of people, but often people will only feel safe about sharing their story with one or two people rather than a whole group. Being able to offer love and acceptance to someone is a great way to be a part of God’s healing work in that person. Through love and acceptance, we can make a difference in deeper ways than we can know.
Historian and filmmaker Henry Louis Gates Jr. hosts a series on PBS called Finding Your Roots in which celebrities learn about their family history. On one episode, Queen Latifah discovers an amazing act of grace. She is given a document which says, “Being conscientious of the injustice and impropriety of holding my fellow creature in state of slavery I do hereby emancipate and set free one negro woman named Jug who is about 28 years old to be immediate free after this day…” Queen Latifah is in awe as she reads those words, written by a woman named Mary Old in 1792, giving freedom to Queen Latifah’s ancestor, and changing the course of life for her entire family. That one woman made a difference in more ways than she ever knew.[9]
Our histories are part of who we are, and understanding more about each other’s histories can help us see how we have come to where we are today and the impact we can have on the world together, and help us to live out Jesus’ command to love one another as he has loved us.
What if the whole point of everything is to grow in our relationships with one another and with God?
Sometimes I wish talking to people and getting to know them on a deeper level was as easy as asking Google. It’s usually not, so it helps to have good questions. Today we have some cards for you that provide some questions. We can use them to help us think about own stories and to help us listen to others tell theirs.
They include some good ground rules:
• Speak from the ‘I’— Commit to sharing only what you know to be true from your lived experience.
• Listen from the heart— Commit to compassionate listening and fostering a space where everyone can feel heard.
• Hold space— Welcome moments of silence and stillness to let words and thoughts sink in. Silence can be sacred.
• Respect boundaries— What you share in your conversation is to be confidential, unless permission is granted to share it otherwise. Be mindful of your own personal boundaries—share only what you feel safe sharing.
• Stay curious— Curiosity is a spiritual practice. If you don’t fully understand someone’s experience, get curious to learn more.
On the back of each card is a sort of statement of faith that is a good foundation for building relationships:
We believe everyone is beloved, shaped from the dust of the earth and the breath of God. Everyone has a story to tell. Our stories are messy and beautiful, painful and hopeful—being written and rewritten over time. We commit to disrupting our assumptions and staying curious.
Who would you like to get to know better? Invite them to join you for coffee and see where the questions take you.
It is my hope and prayer that in the process we will grow in our understanding of God and one another, and be better equipped to work together to share the love of Christ in both words and actions.
Thanks, God.
[1] Shavuot is a feast of thanksgiving for the first fruits of the wheat harvest, and a remembrance of the Law given by God to Moses on Mount Sinai.
[2] Suzanne Barton, The Dawn Chorus https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Chorus-Suzanne-Barton-ebook/dp/B00T06XSPY/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_chorus_(birds)
[4] Come & See by Rev. Lauren Wright Pittman Inspired by John 1:35-51 Digital painting
[5] This section inspired by commentary written by —Dr. Raj Nadella, The Samuel A. Cartledge Associate Professor of New Testament at Columbia Theological Seminary, Decatur, GA, published in the sermon guide provided by Sanctified Art as part of their “I’ve Been Meaning to Ask” sermon series bundle. https://sanctifiedart.org/worship-series-for-any-season
[6] Ibid.
[7] Ibid.
[8] Photo by Wynand Uys on Unsplash
[9] Finding Your Roots, Season 6, Episode 4 https://www.pbs.org/video/ancestors-freed-slavery-nfwc2j/
United Presbyterian Church 