“Talk Less, Listen More: Humility”

By Rev. Melissa Krabbe

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My husband Rob and I both come from musical families. When Rob’s family played music, everyone got out their guitars and sang along. They sang old country music hits, favorite hymns, and what they called “the Krabbe theme song” that went like this:

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
When you’re perfect in every way
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
Cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man/gal
Oh Lord It’s hard to be humble,
But I’m doing the best that I can[1]

This song works best when you sing it proudly and with gusto. That’s how Rob’s dad sang it, sometimes with a bit of a smirk, and always with a twinkle in his eye.

Let’s all give it a try. Sing with me…

Is it hard to be humble? If we’re honest, sometimes it is. The architect Frank Lloyd Wright said:

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change. –Frank Lloyd Wright[2]

I don’t know how that turned out for Frank, but it’s quite different from the guidance we’re given in the letter to the Ephesians. It says,

I encourage you to live as people worthy of the call you received from God. Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. (Ephesians 4:1b-2a CEB)

What does it mean to live as people worthy of the call? What call?

The call is God’s invitation to us all. The first chapter of Ephesians says that God chose us before the creation of the world “…to be his adopted children through Jesus Christ because of his love.” (Ephesians 1:5)

That’s the call. God chose us to be adopted children through Jesus Christ. Does that mean we’re better than other people? No, it means God loves us.

When I was in grade school, I remember being on the playground waiting to be chosen for a team…probably dodgeball or something like that. I was always chosen last.

If God were the one choosing the teams, I think God would choose the worst players first, because in God’s estimation, all of us fall short of God’s glory. So when Paul says to live a life worthy of the call, it’s not so surprising that worthy living means humility, gentleness and patience.

I guess that means no trash talk. We can’t be self-righteous about being God’s children.

We’re all on the same team if we’re playing for God.

That’s why the passage we read today talks about unity, a common theme in Paul’s letters. By the time this was written, maybe about 60 years after Jesus was born, the congregations of Jesus followers included both Jews and Gentiles. Sometimes these two groups had trouble getting along, kind of like happens today. So Paul points out that they have seven things in common. He says, “You are…

one body
one spirit, just as God also called you in
one hope. There is
one Lord,
one faith,
one baptism, and
one God and Father of all…

We have these in common as well.

Most of the time, it’s hard to tell that all our churches are following the same Jesus, using the same Bible, part of the same body. We’re all in our separate buildings having our separate worship. But one year, when the 4^th of July was on Sunday, we had our worship service at Sterling Lake. The Methodist church and the Assembly of God church cohosted. We invited the community, and nobody was required to be a particular denomination. It was quite nice.

I have to show you something that I think is kinda funny. The word for humility in Greek is anything but humble. The word is tapeinophrosune (tap-i-nof-ros-oo’-nay). A 15-letter word. If the size of the word is a measure of its importance, then humility is a big deal.

Paul points out the importance of humility for Jesus followers in his letter to the Philippians, noting that humility is a quality of Jesus. He says:

Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves…Adopt the attitude that was in Christ Jesus:

⁶Though he was in the form of God,
        he did not consider being equal with God something to exploit.
⁷But he emptied himself
        by taking the form of a slave
        and by becoming like human beings.
When he found himself in the form of a human,
⁸        he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death,
        even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

That’s our example. If Jesus didn’t think he was better than everyone else, we certainly have no reason to consider ourselves as better either. Despite being the Son of God, the attitude of Jesus was humility.

“Humility in the Bible…is not primarily an inward posture of the heart; it has an outward look and feel to it. The humble in the Bible are those who are willing to embrace humble circumstances and be associated with those of low estate.”[3]

There are lots of ways that we are tempted to be proud instead of humble, measuring each other by our:

Education
Money
Property
Friends
Skin color
Ability

One day when I was a student at Clemson University, the professor was asking questions about the math problems we’d had in the homework. It seemed like nobody had any of the answers but me. Actually, I was answering too quickly for anyone else to answer. So the teacher told me to shut up and let someone else answer. I was humbled and embarrassed.

I needed the advice Aaron Burr gave to Alexander Hamilton when they first met. (In the musical)

[4]

(Pic is Alexander Hamilton being shot by Aaron Burr.)

Does anyone remember that advice?

“Talk less, smile more. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.”

The first part is pretty good advice. Talk less. Smile more. Listen more. But the second part is …passive aggressive? Cowardly? Dishonest? Our relationships are stronger when we’re honest with each other, especially if we stay humble and gentle and patient. Burr told Hamilton that “fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.” It came true for Hamilton. In most cases, the outcome is probably less dramatic.

Hamilton and Burr had very different philosophies about how government should work. Hamilton didn’t respect Burr’s difference of opinion. I remember the first time I encountered the idea that there is more than one right answer. My first response was, “Nuh uh. No way.” But what if there is?

I had planned to dig into the story of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr today, but then I listened to the part in the musical where Burr says, “Talk less, smile more.” And once again I was in awe of the amazing skill and art with which the musical was written and performed.

[HAMILTON]
Pardon me. Are you Aaron Burr, sir?

[BURR]
That depends. Who’s asking?

[HAMILTON]
Oh, well, sure, sir
I’m Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir
I have been looking for you

[BURR]
I’m getting nervous

[HAMILTON]
Sir…
I heard your name at Princeton. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?

[BURR]
You punched the bur-sar [5]

One of many great wordplays in this musical. I keep finding new ones. Burr sir. Bursar. Amazing.

When we experience awe we are humbled, aren’t we? I think that’s one of the reasons we are drawn to certain artists or athletes or actors. They inspire us. We’re humbled by their greatness at what they do and inspired to be better ourselves. It’s not just celebrities. We encounter awe inspiring people in books, and in life. You might know someone we’ve never even heard of who has inspired you.

Humbled by awe. Humbled by nature. I will never forget the first time I stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I’d seen pictures, of course, but no picture can quite capture the amazing sight of the real thing. It is awe-inspiring. It is humbling. It’s not just the Grand Canyon. Sterling Lake can be inspiring, too. It’s like an oasis. What sights have inspired and humbled you?

When we are humbled we might feel the presence of God.

Those who live at the ends of the earth stand in awe of your wonders. From where the sun rises to where it sets, you inspire shouts of joy. Psalm 65:8 NLT

Being humbled by God is one of the reasons we are drawn to seek God’s presence. We become more aware of God’s presence when we say thanks for whatever has amazed and humbled us.

[6]

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 NIV

Have you ever wondered why Presbyterians don’t kneel in worship like some churches do? There are a variety of factors that led to a change in practice. In early churches they didn’t have pews. There were chairs that were kept stacked on the sides of the sanctuary. When you came into church you got yourself a chair and put it wherever you wanted to sit. When it was time for prayer, you turned your chair around and used it to kneel on.[7]

Some didn’t like kneeling because it was too much like a serf or servant kneeling before a Lord or landowner or King. Some didn’t kneel because they had brought blankets and buckets of hot coals so they could handle being in a drafty church during the snowy winter.

I’m oversimplifying the evolution of worship practices, but you get the idea. Some of us are glad we don’t have to kneel. Some of us might wish we still did.

Kneeling is a practice that puts us closer to the ground, which is what humble literally means. Humble and humus (another word for dirt) are both from the root hum which means to lower oneself. To get on the ground before God is a way to physically remind ourselves of the greatness of the one to whom we pray.

We don’t have to kneel to be humble, but maybe we do need to make a regular practice of experiencing awe, of allowing ourselves to be humbled by something inspiring. And whenever that happens, give thanks to the one who created everything, including us.

Thanks, God.

[2] https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/humility-quotes

[3] https://redeemercitytocity.com/articles-stories/the-outward-look-and-feel-of-humility

[4] By Internet Archive Book Images – https://www.flickr.com/photos/internetarchivebookimages/14598442187/Source book page: https://archive.org/stream/ourgreatercountr00nort/ourgreatercountr00nort#page/n553/mode/1up, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=43543628

[5] “Hamilton” by Lin Manuel Miranda https://genius.com/Lin-manuel-miranda-leslie-odom-jr-anthony-ramos-daveed-diggs-and-okieriete-onaodowan-aaron-burr-sir-lyrics

[6] Photo by Mimi Moromisato: https://www.pexels.com/photo/unrecognizable-men-praying-in-old-catholic-church-4235012/

[7] Abraham Kuyper https://www.reformedworship.org/article/december-1995/come-let-us-bow-down-reflections-kneeling#:~:text=Slowly%20the%20one%20custom%20won,find%20a%20single%20good%20reason.