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2nd CANDLE LIGHTING | PEACE
Ruth 1, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12[1]
[1] By Rev. Melissa Krabbe, preached at United Presbyterian Church of Sterling, KS on December 8, 2024.
I love that the story of Ruth starts like a fairytale. Once upon a time…
Once upon a time, a man named Elimelech took his wife Naomi and their two sons across the big river to a land called Moab. They move to Moab so that they could survive the famine that had taken over the land of Bethlehem. And while they were there the sons got married to Ruth and Orpah.
It could be a Hallmark Christmas movie. A classic nuclear family – husband, wife, two kids and their spouses. But, actually, there aren’t very many families that look like this in the Bible.
For example, Abraham and Sarah and their son Isaac . . . and Sarah’s servant Hagar with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael.
Isaac married Rebekah and they had two sons, Jacob and Esau. Jacob married Rachel . . . but only after he was tricked into marrying Leah. Jacob fathered children with both Rachel and Leah . . . and also with both of their servants. So the twelve sons of Jacob who became the twelve tribes of Israel had four different mothers.
The mothers of Jacob’s 12 sons (Genesis 35:22-26) are:
- Leah, mother of: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun
- Rachel, mother of: Joseph, Benjamin
- Zilpah (Leah’s maid), mother of: Gad, Asher
- Bilhah (Rachel’s maid), mother of: Dan, Naphtali
We’re told there’s a certain formula for families, but the reality is that families come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are connected by blood, some connected by marriage or adoption. Some are connected through circumstances and life experiences. So if your family doesn’t look like this, that’s ok. In reality, all families are different. What makes a family is love.
A church is a family of love that is connected by their commitment to God and to one another to follow Jesus together. The quilt square this week is called a log cabin. Its pieces represent all the ways we do life together, like logs linking together to create a cabin. It reminds me of the game we played in youth group in which each person sat on the knees of the person behind them. Everyone worked together to support each other, as we are called to do.
We could go it alone, but it’s so much better to go together.
You may be wondering…Since it’s the second Sunday of Advent and we’re all in holiday season mode, why are we talking about Ruth? Why does it matter what happens to Elimelech’s family, or to a foreign girl named Ruth?
Ruth is one of four women listed in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1. Do you know who they are?
- Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar
- Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth
- Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab
- David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah [Bathsheba]
What does this tell us about God? All of these women became part of the family tree in courageous ways. Their stories are not all nice and pretty. There’s ugliness and pain, but God made it all work out for good.
It’s better to have a partner than to go it alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9 MSG
Our culture encourages individualism, and sometimes we feel like we’ll be more respected if we do something all by ourselves. There are some situations in which that’s true. If you’re taking a college placement test, you have to do that by yourself. But there are people to help you get there and be prepared – parents, teachers, mentors. If you didn’t allow anyone to help you prepare, you probably won’t do as well.
I used to be a roadie for a rock band and carried around giant speakers and sound boards. I can’t do that anymore, and now to lift even a case of water, I need help. It’s surprising how much water weighs! But also surprising how much difference it makes to share the load with another person.
What are you trying to do by yourself that you need to let someone help you with?
In today’s Bible story, Ruth makes an amazing commitment to Naomi. Ruth said, “Don’t force me to leave you; don’t make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I’ll die, and that’s where I’ll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!” (Ruth 1:16-17)
These verses are often read at weddings because they convey such a beautiful commitment. But this isn’t a wedding. This is the widow Naomi and her widowed daughter-in-law Ruth. Ruth is a very good friend. We all need friends like Ruth.
Can you imagine what it must have felt like for Naomi to hear these words from Ruth? I want to go with you and I want to stay with you. Ruth didn’t have to. She was under no obligation. But she chose to.
Have you ever been surprised by someone who wanted to spend time with you?
Or maybe you’ve surprised someone by wanting to spend time with them.
Why did Ruth make this commitment to Naomi? Honestly, we don’t know. We can speculate. Why did Ruth do this? What made Ruth feel connected enough to Naomi to stay with her mother-in-law, leave the country in which she was born, leave the rest of her family and friends behind, and go to a foreign land and adopt her mother-in-law’s religion?
This picture, Binding Braids by Nicolette Peñaranda, shows us the connection between Naomi and Ruth as a braid. The multi-color strands are their hair, but they also look like a braided rag rug. The background is like the pieces of multi-color fabric in a quilt. It’s a mish-mash. It’s not a perfect picture, but because of that it’s more interesting and has more depth.
Ruth and Naomi are both surrounded by clouds that represent their grief. They are widows, and without each other, they would be alone, not a good way to be in the ancient world, and not the best way to be in today’s world.
You may already know that we have a loneliness epidemic here in the United States.
An advisory report issued by Dr. Vivek H. Murthy 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States in 2023 explains the seriousness of our loneliness:
“Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity…”
This it is something we can help with, but it is definitely something we can’t work on alone.
Did you know that people are at higher risk for loneliness if they make less money, or have experienced violence or harassment? People are more likely to be lonely if they are excluded from certain groups because they are LGBTQ, an ethnic or racial minority, or live in a rural area. All of those risk factors exist in our community, and all of them are within the scope of our commitment to be a Matthew 25 church. We have a unique opportunity here in our community to be the church that is welcoming and inclusive of people who might be excluded from other churches.
The Surgeon General lists faith communities as one of the kinds of organizations that can help with the loneliness epidemic. Jan Edmiston, the general presbyter in Charlotte, NC says the same, but Jan gets down and dirty and asks hard questions, like:
“Why is the Church failing to connect people? Why do people feel unsafe in – rather than drawn to – Church? If people are so lonely and there are congregations all over, why aren’t our sanctuaries packed with people seeking friends every weekend?”
Jan answers those questions. She says, “We all know why.
- People talk only to those they already know on Sunday mornings. . .
- Most people do not see church as a safe place. We have the reputation of being a haven for pedophiles, a trap for queer people, and – sometimes – as too exclusive, too cliquey, too judgey, too much trouble.
- It’s boring.”
We need to change. One of the ways we need to change is to work on a culture of bridging – connecting people who would not ordinarily know each other or spend time together.
We all have people with whom we have bonded. We’ve grown together, we get each other, we’re comfortable with each other.
Bonding is good. But for the church to thrive, bridging is better.
Jan says “[Bridging] is impossible if our church has a culture of stranger danger or racial biases or age discrimination or my-way-or-the-highway-ness or a high stink eye quotient when people ‘misbehave.’ They want ‘new people’ but not if they have their own ideas. They want ‘young families’ but only if they sit quietly.”[1]
We have to make sure we’re not doing any of that. If this is making anyone angry, that might be a call to change.
Bridging means inviting engaging people outside our normal circles and inviting them to worship, to a potluck lunch, to your house, to have coffee at Clive’s, to go to a concert or a ballgame, to go for a walk.
Bridging means radical inclusiveness, extravagant welcoming, and a commitment to help heal the loneliness epidemic.
I gotta say, I looked at a lot of pictures of bridges and I picked this one because it looked like fun. I want to go find this bridge so I can cross it. (It’s in Amsterdam.) Maybe you don’t think of church as a place for having fun, but having fun together is a good way to build bridges.
Naomi and Ruth formed a bridge. And through Ruth we get Jesus.
…they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” (Matthew 1:23)
We can’t do it alone. Because of Jesus, we don’t have to. Thanks, God.
[1] https://achurchforstarvingartists.blog/2024/07/15/bonding-is-good-bridging-is-better/
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