By Rev. Melissa Krabbe
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Can enemies become friends?
Romeo and Juliet did. Woody and Buzz Lightyear did. Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader did.
It’s a common trope. Maybe you can think of other examples.
One of my favorite unlikely friendships is the one that forms between a Viking teenager named Hiccup and a rare Night Fury dragon in the book and animated movie series How to Train Your Dragon.[2] Killing a dragon is a right of passage for Vikings, but once Hiccup captures the Night Fury dragon named Toothless, he can’t bring himself to kill it. Instead they become best friends and partners on various quests to help both humans and dragons.
One of the main reasons that Hiccup couldn’t kill the dragon is his deep compassion. Hiccup is so kindhearted that he cries over an injured bird. Hiccup is in conflict with himself and the Viking traditions, so he feels like a failure and calls himself weak, but his kindness and compassion enable him to forever change the relationship between humans and dragons.[3]
Unlikely friendships are a theme in today’s scripture reading from Isaiah. In Isaiah’s vision of a peaceful future, a wolf, a leopard, and a lion hang out with a lamb, a baby goat, and a calf . . . without eating them. It’s a beautiful idea that seems impossible, especially in our current world full of enmity and violence.
- The war between Russia and Ukraine
- The escalating conflict between Hamas and Israel
- Here in the United States, we have so many shootings that the BBC says that “gun violence is a fixture in American life.”[4] We have an average of two a day!
We’re less than thirty days away from voting in what some are calling the most important election of all time. That sounds dramatic, but the emotional stakes are high. Researchers are finding that our animosity toward people in the opposing political party has grown over the last 20-30 years to the point where political affiliation has surpassed racism as our highest source of hatred towards one another.[5]
Is Isaiah’s vision possible? Is there hope for us? It seems impossible, but Jesus said, “With God, all things are possible.”
At the time that Isaiah was writing, Israel was losing hope. Isaiah’s visions were meant to show that there was hope, and there would be restoration.
This chapter of Isaiah begins with words we’re used to hearing during Advent because many believe that they tell of the coming of Jesus:
Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot—
yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root.
2 And the Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and might,
the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.
Then in verse 10, Isaiah says,
In that day the heir to David’s throne
will be a banner of salvation to all the world.
The nations will rally to him,
and the land where he lives will be a glorious place.
When is that day? Some think King Hezekiah was the one to whom Isaiah was referring. But the prophecy isn’t entirely fulfilled with King Hezekiah.
Some think this prophecy is referring to the return of Jesus. Which is why some say today’s scripture is a picture of Eden restored because the human child is reconciled with the snake who had become the enemy of humans after enticing Adam and Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.
Most importantly, Isaiah says in verse 9 that “the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.” God’s love will be everywhere. That starts now through us.
When Israel was wandering in the desert, Moses asked God to show him God’s glory. God showed Moses his backside and his character, saying:
The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
Compassion and mercy are aspects of God that we sometimes have trouble emulating, and maybe that’s because we sometimes have trouble believing in God’s compassion and mercy for ourselves. Many articles about becoming more compassionate begin with working on self-compassion.
It’s hard to be compassionate with people if we aren’t being compassionate with ourselves. Some of us probably struggle with the idea of selfcare. Maybe it feels selfish, or like it’s not important enough to make space for it in our already crowded schedules. It is very important. Jesus regularly went off by himself to pray. We need time for ourselves, too. Believe me. I know! When we don’t take care of ourselves, our physical health suffers, and our poor emotional health starts leaking out in snarky responses, exhaustion, tears and anger.
This was the focus of my sabbatical…learning how to take better care of myself. I’m very good at pushing through when I should stop. It’s one of the reasons I was down with back pain a couple of years ago. I learned over the summer that I’m too good at saying, “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.” Even when I’m not fine. And to be totally honest, three months is not long enough to heal a serious burnout. But I’m continuing to work on taking better care of myself. I’m continuing to meet with a therapist and a spiritual advisor. I’m learning different ways to manage my work.
In her book Sacred Self Care, Chanequa Walker-Barnes talks about her struggle with burnout, and says, “Sacred self-care is about wellness, that is, maximizing our spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, relational, financial, and vocational health and well-being. We do this both for our own sake and so that we might sustain our vitality as agents of God’s mission of justice, mercy, and peace in the world. Self-care enables us to participate in this mission in ways that are faithful, effective, imaginative, and sustainable. Just as the practice of self-care varies from person to person, so does our personal definition of the wellness we strive for. For some of us, the pursuit of physical wellness might mean being able to go for a walk. For others, it might mean being able to run a marathon. And for some of us, it may simply mean having fewer pain-filled days. Self-care, then, consists of the activities, habits, disciplines, and thought patterns that we integrate into our life on a regular basis to maximize our capacity for wellness given our circumstances, ability and disability, and personal history.”[7]
The word compassion means to suffer together, literally to have passion with.[8] Compassion is an emotion that we feel when we see others suffering and we feel motivated to alleviate their suffering. Compassion goes that extra step from empathy. Empathy connects with others suffering, but compassion wants to make it better.
For many situations, to be able to see others suffering means we have to spend time with them, and listen to them. And we have to be willing to hear things we may not be comfortable hearing. Some of us may have experienced a lack of compassion…or maybe we’ve responded with a lack of compassion…saying something like, “You’re making too big a deal out of this” or “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Those were the words used by someone telling me about what’s been happening at Sterling College, that everyone was making a big deal out of nothing. But those words disregard what people are feeling.
John Pavlovitz, in his book A Bigger Table, tells how compassion changed his opinion about LGBTQ people. Like many Christians, he’d grown up being told to avoid them, and to stay away from other sinners, too, addicts, poor people, people of color. When he went to college, he and his roommate both got jobs at a popular café near campus. The food was so good that this café also catered some of the college events. John loved working there. The owners, Joe and Danny, were excellent bosses with the balance of warmth and discipline that kept things fun and friendly. Joe and Danny loved their work, and it showed. The café was a sort of ministry, feeding people and providing a welcoming environment for everyone.
John says, “A few weeks into my new job I remember thinking to myself, “Joe and Danny are really great friends. They run this business together, they hang out all the time, and I think they even bought a house together—what pals!” I did everything except channel one of my Italian aunts and hope out loud that they would both “find a nice girl one day.” Clearly my cozy, suburban bubble upbringing was in full effect, as evidenced by my utter naiveté and relative oblivion in the moment. I don’t remember exactly when Pete and I realized that not only were they a couple—but nearly the entire rest of the café staff was gay as well. We were straight and in the decided minority, but fortunately they were all much more gracious than straight folks tend to be with the roles reversed, and most certainly kinder than the Church. They treated us with the same respect and compassion and irreverent humor they greeted the rest of the staff with and made us feel as though we belonged. It’s funny how little it takes to show people they matter and what a difference it makes in inviting them into meaningful community. Kindness, it turns out, is powerfully disarming.”[9]
John admits that if he’d realized beforehand that Joe and Danny were gay, he wouldn’t have taken the job. He’d have been stuck in the fear of homosexuality that he grew up with. But by the time he realized, John had become part of the café family, and he’d learned that they were all simply people, “people I was glad that I knew and who reflected God as clearly as anyone who passed in front of that counter each day.”
Compassion and kindness changed John’s perspective and overcame his prejudice and fear.
Have you ever wondered why the queen in the story of Snow White was so evil? Some say she had narcissistic personality disorder, which is why she spent so much time talking to her magic mirror. I think she never allowed herself to heal from past emotional trauma and lost the ability to love.
Snow White was a wonderful example of compassion. She took care of the seven dwarves, even the grumpy one, and she took care of the animals. It’s no wonder that the handsome prince fell in love with her, or that the queen was so jealous that she sent her huntsman to kill Snow White. The huntsman had compassion and couldn’t do it. So the queen went to do it herself with the poison apple. Between the queen’s apple and the one Adam and Eve ate, we might want to avoid apples!
Do you remember what happened when Snow White ate the apple? She fell into a deep sleep.
How did she get revived? The prince came and kissed her.
The prince didn’t know that his kiss would revive her. He was simply expressing his love and compassion for her. We don’t always know what the outcome will be for us, either, but we do know that through our faith in Jesus Christ, God’s love lives in us and empowers us to be kind and compassionate with ourselves and with one another.
Isaiah says, “the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.” God’s love will be everywhere.
Thanks, God.
[1] https://www.dreamworks.com/how-to-train-your-dragon
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Train_Your_Dragon_(2010_film)
[3] https://howtotrainyourdragon.fandom.com/wiki/Hiccup_Horrendous_Haddock_III_(Franchise)
[4] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41488081
[5] Darren Schreiber, PhD, JD https://vimeo.com/943864081/374badaa62?share=copy
[6] Photo by qinghill on Unsplash
[7] Walker-Barnes, Chanequa. Sacred Self-Care: Daily Practices for Nurturing Our Whole Selves (p. 25). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
[8] https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/compassion/definition#:~:text=Compassion%20literally%20means%20%E2%80%9Cto%20suffer,though%20the%20concepts%20are%20related.
[9] John Pavlovitz, A Bigger Table, excerpted in Escobar, Kathy. Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World (p. 232). Presbyterian Publishing Corporation. Kindle Edition.
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